I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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