So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
