his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
