Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
