Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
