After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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