Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
