; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
