the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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