you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
