Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
