Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize