If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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