you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
