But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
