Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
