turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
