i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
