the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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