dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize