I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
