Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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