I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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