Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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