I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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