We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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