I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
