wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
