Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize