yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
