I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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