Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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