Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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