The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
