Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
