She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
