i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
