Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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