I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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