Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
