Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
