OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
