I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
