Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
