you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
