He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
