Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize