So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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