so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just gargled with NyQuil
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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