literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
