I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
