bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
