I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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