Don't you send me to vm
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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