People in love make me want to vomit
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
