Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
