windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
