Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
